Back in 1990 life was wonderful. I was married with three adorable children and had just begun a new teaching job. My husband worked part time so he was able to get children to and from school and get the evening meal on the table. So from Monday to Friday I did not have to worry about home – I had the freedom to work later at school and I tried to keep school work at school although a few hours were needed at the weekend were needed to prepare for the next week.
Then I began to struggle with life, I got quite low, I didn’t cope at home, I was irritable and felt like I was living under a black cloud. The only thing that was OK was my job – I really enjoyed it. I was prescribed anti depressants and had regular appointments with a CPN at my GP’s but in May 1991 I found myself on an acute psychiatric ward where I stayed for three months. I went back to work in October 1991 but two years later I was back on an acute ward and in early 1994 I was retired due to ill health, which for me was devastating because I loved the job. My diagnosis was depression, borderline personality disorder and anxiety – the eating disorder came later.
About ten years ago I was referred to Fircroft Day Centre and one of the first things that struck me was how friendly and relaxed it was. It did not have the hospital feel that other day centres had had. There were groups to join but if all you wanted to do was sit quietly on your own that was fine. The staff were all very approachable and ready to sit and listen and then give advice.
Fircroft has been one of the most consistent parts of my life and as I look back I can really appreciate the incredible support I have found there in the ups and downs of the last few years; some of the ups and downs were huge! When I was struggling with an eating disorder the support was there. Fircroft was there to help calm me down when I went for a part time care job in a local nursing home only to be informed by the matron that with my history of depression I was only suitable to stack shelves in a supermarket. The support was there when I lost my job at a day nursery due to the unfortunate wording of a doctor’s reference, when I needed to move out of the family home, when I started a part time admin job, when I was retired due to ill health from that job because of a trapped nerve in my neck. The staff believed in me, rooted for me, encouraged me and even challenged me from time to time
Those were the more major events for me but perhaps even more important are the smaller every day things like learning to say ‘no’ – I’m no longer the ‘yes man’ I was. I have had the opportunity to discover that I have a creative flair especially when it comes to needle work – I’ve found myself being really pleased with the result of some of my creations. Doing quizzes and crosswords and playing scrabble and pool have all helped to build my self confidence. I take it as a compliment when people ask me to help with something.
I have spent varying amounts of time at Fircroft. Sometimes I have attended for three days a week. When I’ve been less well I have attended every day and now I drop in once a week. I expect the day will come when I no longer attend Fircroft at all because I don’t need their particular service. However, my loose change box is set to remain in aid of Fircroft which means I’ll have to visit from time to time.
Thank you Fircroft
With love from
Carol
