For some it’s another taboo subject, something not to talk about, pretend it’s not happening.
To feel driven to harm oneself, is a desperate last resort to find a way to deal with emotional and distressing situations.
For me, wanting to feel something else other than the intolerable mental distress resulted in me numbing the mental pain with physical pain in form of cutting.
For me it was a relief, a help and a comfort. It was something I could to do to myself, when I felt no one else could possibly understand why I felt I deserved what I did. My family were unaware of what I was doing, and my friends felt frustrated and eventually moved away from me, leaving me trapped and isolated.
Once was never enough and each consecutive cut needed to be deeper to relieve the increasing emotional pressure inside my head. Through the numbness and pain I could have a temporary distraction, until of course the next time. Although the physical healing would soon come, emotionally it took longer. It became the only way of coping with what I was feeling.
Unfortunately I often felt that when I turned up at A and E the response from most of the staff was extremely unhelpful as they felt I obviously didn’t feel pain and hence would stitch me up without local anaesthetic. Occasionally they would call the duty psychiatrist, but all I wanted was to go home and would tell him I was fine until one day I was admitted and therapy began.
Fortunately I came to the point where I realised I couldn’t hurt myself anymore and it (cutting) never really changed the painful feelings, just left more and more physical reminders in the form of scars instead.
Emotions can be powerful and I guess everyone manages things differently. It was hard enough to deal with my emotions without feeling pressurised that I was somehow distressing others in the process, seeking attention, and really wasting people’s time. This attitude, all too common, produced in me more negative feelings that often reinforced the belief that it was necessary to inflict such injuries in the first place.
Hitting the self-destruct button
Research indicates that although adults over 25 do self harm the majority of cases occur in young people between 12-25. Hospital records indicate that 142,000 people come to Accident and Emergency each year, having self harmed.
However this doesn’t create a true picture of the scale of the problem because a lot of people who self harm find it difficult to come forward and seek medical help.
A 2-year enquiry into self-harm particularly in young people is was published in March 2006. You will find this report at the following website at www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/?EntryId=38712.
Although there are people in other parts of Europe who self harm research shows that the UK has the highest rate of self-harm.
For many SH is a coping mechanism, there is no quick fix or answer to the problem. Each individual will have their own triggers or reasons for harming themselves. This is often a secretive behaviour, and involves cutting, burning, scalding, ingesting foreign objects or poisons.
There are many issues that can cause people to self harm including mental and emotional distress, lack of self-esteem, feelings of anger, guilt, lack of control over certain situations/circumstances in ones life, painful past issues.
Self-harmers often feel misunderstood and their behaviour alienates them from other people. It doesn’t provide any long-term relief or indeed solutions; it certainly doesn’t resolve the underlying issues. However it is important the sufferer finds someone that they can communicate their feelings with, someone they feel they can trust to be patient, and supportive and non judgemental.
Getting better takes time - often years. It is a case of living with it day by day and trying to distract yourself from the need to self harm as long as possible. It is important to find a GP, psychologist or counsellor for further help and support, although this is not as straightforward as it may sound. It’s about learning to deal with life, situations, people, and anger differently, finding other outlets and distractions.
For further help and information see the following websites:
