Mary first became ill with manic depression after the birth of her first child, but diagnosis wasn’t made until eighteen months later. It started with the feeling of euphoria that most new mums feel, but lasted for seven weeks. During that time, she increasingly felt less tuned into reality. She began to imagine things that took on their own sense of reality – when she remembered she’d given birth, she knew it had been a virgin birth and hadn’t a clue as to how to look after the baby. She had delusions of grandeur, didn’t sleep for three and a half weeks. After a successful ECT treatment she was discharged and went home. Then the depression began to set in. She felt so ill that she made an attempt on her own life, but survived in spite of several injuries. It was then that bi-polar was diagnosed.
Since then, Mary has had several recurrent episodes, some of which have landed her back in hospital. During one episode of her illness she escaped from hospital in the middle of the night in her pyjamas and was found at an old workplace sweeping the floor. Although Mary can see the funny side of this now, in retrospect it was a very worrying and stressful time for all.
Mary also says “If I had had access to money I would have been in real trouble.” As it was, the family were always having to recover from the debts incurred by Mary during her episodes. “Funny thing is that I could not remember what I had spent the money on!”
“My children were very stressed with each episode. I become like an 18 year old, wanting to go disco-ing and fancying my daughter’s boyfriends. Because of my sleep deprivation, I was also very careless, often putting myself in dangerous situations. The children were then forced to take on the parent role.
Mary hasn’t been in hospital now for over two years. She was able to ride out the last episode at Fircroft without hospitalisation. This lasted four months. “Fircroft has kept me sane. They never judge me, but are great at listening - one has to get everything out of one’s system, even in a hyper-manic phase. I feel that they really care about me – at hospital you are a bit anonymous and often being there aggravates the situation.”
By keeping Mary out of hospital there have also been other knock-on benefits. Her family have been able to continue a semi-‘normal’ life. Her husband can continue working which means that their finances are not as affected. The family’s anxiety is also reduced with Fircroft’s care.
“Sometimes even the medication can’t control me totally – what’s going on in my head is stronger than the medication, but I’m now beginning to recognise the warning signs and I can now seek help at an earlier stage.”
Even when she is well, life can be very difficult as she and her family anxiously keep vigilant for tell-tale signs that there is a recurrence on the way.
